Chapter 3

Chapter # 3:
Kate does soooo much for humanity and the world!
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To the untrained eye, Kate Gosselin looks like the soccer mom version of Wonderwoman, with her organization skills and organic cooking etc.
But to the trained eye the story is 100 % different.
Kate is a NARCISSIST.
Watch the show and she will have you believe that she does EVERYTHING. With all the sighs and overemotive exhaustion she portrays on camera.
Dont you get it, she mops that floor 3 times a day on her hands and knees and dusts the house to perfection and cares sooo much about
them she INSISTS on Organics! Shes sooo overworked and tired!!!!!!
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Kates fans will have you think that Kate is a saint and Jon NEEDS degrading, and she only does it cause shes SOOOO tired and overworked!
Let me remind you that Kate WANTED to be a Mom to Multiples all her life...Shes a Nurse, she knew what she was getting into...
Lets clue you in on what Kate doesnt do...
Pay a mortgage, do laundry,  watch her kids, pay for trips, pay for clothes or furniture, pay for groceries or Juice...
The house was paid for by Discovery Channel! Jon makes less then 50K a year and the new house was $350,000.00..
She has FREE Laundry service that gets picked up at the house and delivered all nice and folded and fresh.
Free Nanny service, plus 3-4 friends that come and watch or take the kids all the time. Aunt Jodi takes them EVERY FRIDAY
so they can have a date night.
Discovery channel pays for all the trips.
Giant supermarket gives them free food.
There is now PRODUCT PLACEMENT in the show, so IKEA, Juicy Juice and GAP Kids have given them all free stuff so their products and brand names get shown on the show...
So what does Kate do?
SURFACE WORK! In a Narcissists life EVERYTHING is all about APPEARANCES!
She makes sure the house is spotless, she takes them for Dental and Hair appointments, makes sure their clothes match and they look cute.
All that is to make OUTSIDERS think shes a wonderful mother.
Cooking all organic from scratch is to make herself a martyr later on, "I did all this stuff for you! I cooked all your food organics and slaved over a stove all day and you do this for me?"...
When does she ever do the real MOTHERING?
Kate NEVER plays with her children. Shes too BUSY with the surface work to teach them anything or play with them.
She puts them in the garage or basement and goes inside.
How about doing the normal thing and ordering a pizza and leaving the floor alone one day and going out in the garage to play with them?
This is where a trained eye can spot the sickness...
Narcissistic mothers immediately LABEL their kids and the kids will always be ONLY that label in the Nmoms mind.
Hannah and Cara are moms helpers whereas Mady is ONLY the Whiner...
But she will never stop to find out WHY Mady is whining (cause Kate ignores her, all she wants is some love) she is just a whiner to Kate and always will be...
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Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness (“I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)
(Source: http://www.geocities.com/zpg1957/narcissists )
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Mady and Cara are twins, they should be treated fairly. Instead Kate is making them frienemies on purpose by creating division by treating them differently and labeling them...
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3. She favoritizes. Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself.
( http://www.geocities.com/zpg1957/narcissists )
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When Kate took the pictures of the girls near their poop it was for later use.
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2. She violates your boundaries. You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you. (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn’t like kumquats.) You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs (“Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!”) You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms
    * grandiosity / exaggeration
    * fantastic thinking / romantic
    * believes they are special / unique
    * requires admiration
    * entitled / demanding
    * exploitive / manipulative
    * lacks empathy
    * envious / jealous
    * arrogant / haughty
Kate is the above and MORE
The kids fullfill Kates never ending need for Narcissistic Supply.
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The Narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multi-faceted source of Narcissistic supply. The child is considered and treated as an extension of the Narcissist's personality. It is through the child that the Narcissist seeks to settle "open accounts" with the world. The child is supposed to materialize the unfulfilled Narcissistic dreams and fantasies of the Narcissistic parent. This "Life by Proxy" can develop in two possible ways: the Narcissist can either merge with his child or be ambivalent towards him. The ambivalence is the result of a conflict between the attainment of Narcissistic goals and pathological (destructive) envy.
( http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_narcissist_be_a_good_parent )
Several times during the show I saw her do things where she only thought of herself. Two examples:
1) Took the kids to go furniture shopping and while she was there, her son Collin who had been constipated for a week was crying from discomfort and she did nothing. A normal mom would have left and taken him home and shopped later. Not Kate. She didnt care. She made Jon take him to the van and dig his poop out of his butt, a normal mom wouldnt have wanted that told on the tv show to prevent embarassment later.
2) Gave all the TUPS Ice Cream at Disney World and then snatched it from them and made them cry, saying she didnt want them to get sticky and ruin their clothes! Who cares about their clothes, you made them cry.
Lets talk about Jon...
The fact is, is that Kate is rude AND abusive to Jon ON camera, during NON stressful situations when they are just sitting there talking to the producer.
She is MEAN to him when he is goodnaturedly JOKING with her ( “You are not my Daddy” “Your name is Jon!”) She has a sick NEED to put him in his place!
One night I witnessed her SLAP him and treat him like a 5 yr old!
I could UNDERSTAND if she did it once in awhile DURING a stressful situation, but she does it all the time and the most telling thing of all is that you never hear, IM SORRY!
And thats the thing...
Kate is never satisfied, nor does she ever seem sorry for her beliefs or actions.
Because its all about Kate...
Its the Kate show!
And she will damage those kids in the end.
preesi@comcast.net